Not Sick of Sick of Sarah

How can you not love this all-female indie rock band?

Grooveshark sure is a gem.  Along with the other sometimes hardcore sometimes sultry bands Metric, and Hunter Valentine, I discovered another band that already has a line-up in my work-out, studying, and hanging out playlists: Sick of Sarah.  Great vocals, harmonies, and a rocking set-up… and they sure have the perfect image.  Part of my confusion was, how in the world are they not more popular?

Part of the issue is that they constantly have to face the public perception of being a band with members who are openly lesbian or queer.  The band constantly tries to make their music appealing to the larger community, embracing the LGBT fanbase, but singing for the mainstream community.  Another blog post has a great interview with the opinions of Abisha Uhl, the lead singer.

And the band does savvy things, their last great album 2205, went platinum incredibly quick.  The secret?  Releasing it through bittorrent, where users could easily download all their songs for free.

But still, it bothers me a little bit that such great talent will be ignored by some through a simple label — some of their members’ sexuality.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m as clean-cut of a straight guy there is, but living and communicating with those associating themselves with the LGBT community has really opened my eyes to the travails that they often have to face.  Sure, the prejudice is not so transparent, and living in Canada, on paper the community is fully accepted.  But there is always the extra stretch and extra pain that must be proven that one is more than just a label.

As a scientist, it is a huge concern of mine as well — just as Sick of Sarah is facing in the music industry, many people like to pigeon-hole those who are in science.  If someone has a theoretical physics background, they are a theoretical physicist and can only contribute to matters of that sort.  Likewise, someone in sedimentary geology should only be allowed to contribute to their specified field.  I think this is the exact opposite of what should occur.  In issues such as climate change, it is of utmost importance of communication within disciplines, and each scientist with a specialized field can contribute to the larger concept.  Perhaps the key to the biggest problems is held by someone in an unrelated field, in fact, I think that’s how innovation is even derived.

And consequently, the fact that Sick of Sarah is indeed not a mainstream band contributes to the fact that they can be innovators in the music industry, and that they lend a new perspective that is valuable for everybody in their music.

For this, I hope that Sick of Sarah gains as much success as possible to prove to the world, that no matter the sexuality, and no matter what one decides as their personal life choices, talent is talent, and this should be appreciated.

Peace and Love!!

Playing with Fire

Life.  It’s tough.  My life was going pretty well, but sometimes you get blindsided, sometimes you face impossible situations, and sometimes you just have to pick those pieces back up.

And that’s what life is about.  Making mistakes. St. Augustine of Hippo said it best nearly 2000 years ago with ‘errare humanum est.‘  To err is human, and to be human is to make mistakes.  How else can we learn in our lives, how else can we navigate ourselves through our personal indirect journey.  And so is it OK to set ourselves up to those mistakes?  Is it OK, to proverbial play with fire?

It’s neurologically tied in the brain to have a reflex reaction whenever one touches fire.  The neurons quickly act and force you to remove the hand from the fire, it’s really the whole mechanism of pain in the body.  Pain exists to tell you to not do it again. So why then should one subject themselves to emotional pain, psychological distress, and proverbial ‘heartbreak?’  It’s an interesting question.  And perhaps nobody embodies this question more than Britney Spears.  Playing with her really is like playing with fire, and I keep that exact same picture of her above in my vision book to constantly remind myself of how every day, life is about playing with fire.

But is she really as exuberant, crazy, and unstable as the media suggests?  My perception of her permanently changed after reading Neil Strauss’s memoirs on his time as a ‘pick-up artist,’ called “The Game”, where he learned a more private, vulnerable, and real side of Britney Spears.  What’s behind the celebrity?  It’s always just a human trying to navigate their own lives.  But one two lives meet, sometimes there’s a problem.  The psychological individuals can be stable, but sociologically, sparks can fly.  The cavemen knew that all it took was two dull, ordinary rocks to be able to light a flame.

It's easy to understand why Britney Spears is so desirable

Enter Kevin Federline, nothing more than one of those dull rocks entering more than a potentially volatile situation.  I think he knew it best when he titled his first rap album “Playing with Fire.”  He got what every man desired: the hottest girl, the archetype for the innocent girl bad, the secret desire of every married man.  The entire world was jealous of the mere background dancer from rag turned to A-List celebrity boyfriend with riches.  But behind the scenes, I can’t imagine what he’s been through.  What seems to be happy and perfect, often has a dark side, and as the scene turned out, Spears became crazy (who can’t remember the shaving of the head incident), and through it all K-Fed gained full custody of the children, and proved that unlike Britney’s song “Piece of Me,” he really is the ‘exceptional father.’

Kevin Federline must have been through hell, but did playing with fire really pay off?  Well, look at where he is today.  He’s still a celebrity, making tonnes of money from the divorce to this day, and sure he’s struggling with his weight, but he wanted in the spotlight, and he got into the spotlight.  Perhaps their marriage was meant to fail since the start, and Federline just simply played his cards right to ensure his future success.  Being able to pin John Cena, the WWE champion at the time on Monday Night Raw really showed how much he had accomplished.

So what?  I think Federline was really able to pull all the negative energy: court battles, negative press, and all to really make a change in his life and gain from the relationship.  But sometimes I’m not even sure if I was the Federline of the relationship, as much as I wouldn’t like to admit it, I may have been more of the Spears.  Having it all and sacrificing it for a bit for what I thought was a real relationship, and then having to find that old me back through the ruins.

Maybe I listened to Spears a little too much.  I treat her song “Overprotected,” as a spiritual prophecy, I can never forget the lyric “I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am, and I don’t want to feel so damn protected.”  I hate that feeling of constraint, control, and oppression.  As cheesy as it sounds, I want to break free, and just do what I want regardless of what other people want or think.  I feel like this was part of the reason why I entered a relationship, simply put, I felt like it was what I wanted, but the exact reason in which the relationship fell apart, I wanted to do what I wanted, and at some philosophical point unwilling to compromise.

And now I listen to her song again to try to break free from those lingering feelings and bringing my life back together.  Yes it sucks, being broken up with sucks, especially when there was no tangible reason, but c’est la vie, que sera sera, and any other French expression about moving on that applies to this case.

But I still think, is it worth it to make mistakes.  Is it worth it to pursue passions while neglecting reason and sense?  Hearing about the controversy in Britain about the purported vaccine-autism link has simply disgusted me.  Simply, a head scientist published a flawed report about how the MMR-vaccine had a positive correlation to autism.  A completely false, and proven to be fabricated report, and it ended up causing outbreaks of measles and mumps once again from worried parents listening to faulty science (a completely preventable circumstance!).  What Dr. Wakefield did when publishing the report is absolutely deplorable.  He had a bias, a passion in preventing autism, and so he muddled reports to make his viewpoint prominent.  As a scientist, this is exactly what you cannot do in the world.

So why should I be allowed to make mistakes in my personal life?  If I am scientist through and through, I should be more cautious, and always use that scientific method to guide my thought process.  Or should I? I doubt Britney had any inkling of science when she was able to bounce back and produce her latest number: “Hold it against me.”  I doubt Kevin cared about anyone but himself and his children when he walked in his indirect path to success.  I also doubt my ex used any scientific grading scheme when she decided to end the relationship.  Simply, she had to fulfill her own individual prophecy.

Perhaps I am becoming more existential, where I must understand that the only person who gets me, trusts me, and understands my interests and passions is me.  As it is for every single other person out there.  And in this understanding, I need to take a fresh new look into what a relationship means, and moreso, if I am even ready to take that leap and be ready for that relationship.

It’s the scientist who knows how to play with fire best.

The Downward Spiral: A look at Lindsay Lohan

As a scientist, the theory is simple.  Once an object initiates motion, intertia dictates that the object remains in motion.  In fact, it’s Newton’s famous first law.  It’s no surprise that this same concept can be applied to the celebrity social world.  No case is more relevant than that of Lindsay Lohan, who has recently embarked on a rather grim downward spiral.

Lindsay Lohan: When she still had Integrity

The stunning Lindsay Lohan was once of my favourite celebrities.  I remember Parent Trap fondly, where she played a double role, (the movie was filmed right here at home in Ontario, yeah!).  Then of course there was Freaky Friday, where she played the role of an older woman trapped in her teenage body.  And then my favourite movie of all-time, (sorry Legally Blonde) is Mean Girls, not only for the gratuitous math content, leading to my favourite line “the limit does not exist,” but for its realistic portrayal of high school life. I went so far as to even read the book it was based on, and the knowledge I gained from both the book and the movie led me to dabble into feminist organizations, where I gained an amazing new perspective in life.  It’s crazy how little guys really know about women. In fact, the very same morals that Lindsay Lohan currently portrays serves as a stark contrast to those which Cady Heron actualizes by the end of the film in Mean Girls.  Check out an awesome director’s commentary of the life of teenage girls with sick Mean Girls clips to understand what I mean:

Aside from films, I even got into her second album, “A Little More Personal (Raw),” which I enjoy for its unpolished, rock edge.  From sweet covers, to intensely emotional songs, it really did seem like Lindsay had a firm grasp on her stance as an artist.  Success was her way, she was focussed, popular, one of the hottest girls at the time. So what happened?  Check out why I liked her album so much first with this emotionally poignant song:

I think the warning signs arose simply with her excess partying.  As news and gossip came out from 2006, she had a hard night suffering from dehydration and likely excess alcohol use, causing her public image to be more Paris Hilton-esque instead of the cute and innocent girl-next-door from family friendly films like Herbie: Fully Loaded.  Then the bulemia and drug use came, where she was on the brink of total devastation.  And soon after in 2007, came the alcoholism, the DUI, the rehab, it almost sounds like the cycle is expected with any up-and-coming celebrity.  This is consequently part of the reason why I respect celebrities like Kaley Cuoco and Reese Witherspoon so much, because they have avoided this entire lifestyle.  Still, Lindsay was able to hold it together more-or-less, still being seen with at least some hope.  She was still modelling, designing, and the public perception did not turn on her just yet. She at least hasn’t gotten into any crazy marriages like Britney Spears.

Back when she was struggling with eating disorders she was still modelling (as here in Vanity Fair)

Things only got worse once the cocaine rumours began swirling around, and when she finally came out with her lesbian relationship with Samantha Ronson, who later Lindsay claimed was a heavy drug user and had multiple affairs whilst with Lindsay.  I had a friend who was obsessed with Ronson, going so far as to meeting her at a club she was DJing at.  Through my relationship with the friend, and my constant watching of Chelsea Lately, my interest regarding Lindsay Lohan and her lifestyle blossomed.  She entered a very secretive state, which I would assume Ronson pounced on causing a rather abusive relationship between the two.  And when she came out from that, her life really took a turn for the worse.  No longer was she the G-rated star.  Heck, she even paraded her nude body in a New York magazine, a serious taboo for professional stars.  She had entered a new state permanently. Even Jamie-Lynn Spears was able to have to some type of normalcy in her life even after having an unexpected child out of wedlock.

I definitely miss the Lohan of old!

This brings to mind an ecological concept I learned in university from an article by Peterson et al. Simply, every ecosystem has a point of stable equilibrium.  Imagine a rainforest, where the trees, the snakes, the monkeys, the insects, the tigers, all live in ‘harmony,’ in that their populations remain fairly stable each year, and every organism satisfies a certain function.  After a disturbance happens, let’s say a devastating drought takes place for a year, where there is very little rainfall.  This will definitely affect the rainforest, but in 2 ways: temporarily or permanently.  If it is temporary, perhaps the organisms can resist the lack of rainfall, and can continue with the same functions ordinarily, it is like nothing ever happened, then the ecosystems remains in the same stable state.  However, if the ecosystem is not resilient, it is said to have reached a new stable state, whereby the ecosystem reaches a new equilibrium but the diversity and richness of organisms has changed permanently.  This system can be modelled physically by a ball rolling on a curved surface:

If the disturbance is great enough, the ball will roll into a new stable state, otherwise it will roll back down into its current state.

So how does this relate back to Lindsay Lohan?  I believe her experiences in clubs, with alcoholism, with Samantha Ronson was a disturbance that was too great!  Imagine if Lohan is the blue ball, this disturbance pushed her “over the edge” where she now rests at a new stable state, as a completely different person.  It’s like the death of a loved one, the trauma may push you “over the edge.” And after grieving one always says, “I’ve become a different person” (aka new stable state), or “I’ve adjusted back to my normal lifestyle” (aka they rolled back down to their current stable state).  Perhaps physics does have a role in sociology.  Nonetheless, Lindsay has definitely hit a new stable state as the raw, doesn’t care about her self-image persona.  It’s the very same image that people are saying Miley Cyrus is approaching.  This is evidenced by how Lindsay is even denying — with a completely sober mind — things that have clearly happened in the past, as viewed through this Sun report on an ET interview.  It is almost like she completely disregards her journey to this new stable state as herself, and she is simply now reveling in the new character she has developed, skipping alcohol education meetings and starring as a porn star in a new movie.  Will Lohan ever get out of the headlines?

Lindsay Lohan today.

Well, to be honest, probably not.  As long as Perez Hilton and TMZ are still around, Lindsay Lohan will be a mainstay of our popular interest.  And it simply is because she represents that leap to a new steady state that so many of us think about, often try to reach and accomplish, but never actually reach.  In a way, the Buddhist philosophy of reaching Nirvana is the same transfer to a new steady state.  Essentially the principle dictates that one abstains from all the worldly pleasures to find self-enlightenment.  This same structure is reverberated in the oft-quoted Hierarchy of Needs by Maslow.  Perhaps Lindsay Lohan has self-actualized, and now she’s living the life she desires, albeit controversial to simpletons like us.  And for that, I can’t help but respect her.  DUI, drug-use, lack of responsibility and dignity, and potential jail time looming aside, Lindsay Lohan represents that crazy within us that wants to get free, that complete and utter disregard and aversion to social mores of what’s expected, and simply how to live the life that you want to set out to create.  And she has the ability to laugh it all off:

So is it a downward spiral?  Maybe.  But take it for what it is, one individual, choosing to live one life, even though it’s destructive, even though it’s deplorable, she can say her life is decisively Lindsay’s.  How many of us can claim complete ownership of our own lives, not affected by a loved one, parent, or child?  It’s a rare quality that she possesses.  At the bottom of the downward spiral, perhaps she has realized something that all of us reaching the top of the ladder of actualization is trying to realize: listen to your emotions, care about yourself first, and as one of my favourite Lohan songs succinctly states, Live for the Day.

Peace and Love!

Beauty is Common..?

Kelly Clarkson is beautiful!

My favourite music consists of Deep Purple, Black Sabbath, Rush, The Doors, Led Zeppelin, and all those famous 70s ‘classic rock’ bands, but search a little more in my ipod, and you’ll find the full discography for my girl, Kelly Clarkson. And okay, whenever I tell people this, they think it’s some weird crush or obsession or something but I really do appreciate her work.  My favourite album: My December!  I listen to the entire album at least once a week, and the songs and her voice really speak to me, and somehow have a large impact on my life.  Suffice to say, Kelly Clarkson has become part of my life, and I really respect her for that.

Prateek respects a girl for something other than her looks!? Yes. I know I have a tendency to objectify women like many men, commenting on their body features, deeming them as ‘hot‘ or ‘sexy,’ but come on, I need to have some fun.  Perhaps it’s the hormones, perhaps it’s a sense of prevailing immaturity, but I can attest that in this modern world, we are all conditioned to think this way.  Even in high school, there’s an expected mould the typical masculine guy must conform to, and part of this sadly is demeaning women, judging them based solely on their looks.  You may disagree, but most teenage guys think of women this way, and no one can blame them based on A) the media and B) how some girls bring it upon themselves.

So, let’s take a step back. How would I judge Kelly Clarkson based solely on her looks?  There’s been great attention focused on her physical appearance, specifically her weight.  I like this quote from a recent article, however, “Clarkson doesn’t want to look like your average “pop star” and that is what makes her that much better.  She’s talented, there’s no pretense about her, she is who she is and that is a singer.”  And this is what I respect about Kelly, she knows she is what she is, she even jokes about her weight and takes it all in stride.  And perhaps this is what beauty really is, confidence.  Or maybe not even confidence exactly, but the ability to know you.  This is why I love introspection, because I feel that if I know myself better, I can make a greater impact on the world.  Along the same stretch, I always urge others to look within themselves, heck, this is the entire core of how I give advice.  I’ll say this, a girl who knows who they are is sexy.

But still, I know in the back of every guy’s head is, wouldn’t it be better if she ALSO had a fit body like say Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie.  How can a great body ever be a detriment?  And this is a simple yet persuasive argument.  Just like Carl Linnaeus, we all have a tendency to want to order the universe.  We all want to judge people, and rank people against others.  I am the first one to claim I am guilty to referring as random people as ’6s,’ ’7s’ or ’8s’ based on their looks.  But who am I to judge, I’m not claiming I possess beauty, I don’t have that 6-pack or ripped biceps many women swoon for, nor do I have the debonair charm that sweeps many girls off their feet.  However, like all of us, perhaps it’s a self-esteem thing, perhaps we’re bored, I don’t know, but the fact is we all judge!

A saying I once read, ironically from a book on how to pick-up woman, asks “beauty is common, what makes you special?”  By asking this to a ‘9‘ or ‘10,’ the trick is you’ll confuse them by instead of complimenting them, the guy puts himself in the power position.  I’ve never had the audacity to try it myself, but instead I contemplated the verity of the question.  Is beauty really common? I asked myself, why can’t beauty be common?  There is no specific guideline to beauty.  In its purest sense, I believe beauty can be defined as anything we find appealing.  Therefore I find Kelly Clarkson appealing.  But I also find calculus, Oreo cookies, and dinosaurs appealing… so are all those things beautiful too?  Why not!? Then what does it mean to be appealing? As humans, we have the freedom in what we choose to like or dislike.  Now suddenly an ugly old woman may be appealing because the story of why she looks that way may be intriguing.  A civil war may have had a complex, yet appealing history.  The most evil dictator may have had crazy, yet oddly engrossing motives.  If we are drawn to these things, (and we can be drawn to anything if we have the mindset for it) they are appealing, and if they are appealing, then under my definition, I can view these things as beautiful.  Ergo, everything is beautiful, and thus beauty is common!

Now if beauty is common, then what’s the purpose of judging others?  What’s the purpose of trying to make ourselves look more appealing or to abide to certain social mores?  The best answer I can come up with is a Darwinian answer.  Judging is part of human nature, we use our intelligence and curiosity to help us make the right choices for survival.  For example, by judging girls, I would stay away from a trashy girls because she might have STDs, which would help save my health.  Or it’s as simple as judging bread if it has mold or not.  We use appearance to help us.  Then for the second question, it’s the entire issue of procreation.  The healthiest specimen breed with the likewise to produce the best offspring with the greatest chance of survival.  Consequently, strong, not overweight, intelligent, upstanding individuals want to make themselves appear that way in hopes of achieving someone with similar attributes.  This is deep-rooted sexual nature.  For example, while I’m killing myself on the abs machine at the gym, I’m thinking by getting in shape more girls will notice me, period. And I know girls think the exact same way when they are spending hours putting on their makeup or assembling their best wardrobe.  We all want to appear our best.

Then why doesn’t Kelly Clarkson work out a bit more, or focus a bit more on her appearance? Because mature, understanding people realize it’s not her looks that make her beautiful, it’s her understanding that looks don’t matter, and the confidence that she knows she really is beautiful.  And this is where beauty becomes minor, and a common and mutual understanding takes precedent.

Judging is part of who we are, we cannot stop that.  But perhaps we should not be so black and white about beauty. Beauty is common.  What I view is most important is the ability for them to make an impact on your life.  It’s not about beauty, that’s irrelevant, it’s about compatibility.  The saying where ‘beauty is in the eye of beholder‘ is often misunderstood.  But the way I understood it is that the right girl, the right guy, the right anything, is someone that can help you be happy, or help you in some positive aspect of your life.  If it is appealing to you, that’s all that matters.

Peace and love!!

Live life with no regrets!

Oops.

First post of Prateek’s blog… can’t be anything but something about a hot girl. And Hayden Panettiere, the sexy cheerleader from Heroes is the lucky one! Okay, now I love this girl to death, her appeal is what made Heroes so fun to watch at the start, despite her grotesque heroic ability.

However, I just love the irony of what happened to her recently.  Here’s a link of the tattoo fiasco I’m talking about: http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2009/07/hayden-doesnt-care.php

Here she has a traditional Latin phrase imprinted on her back for her entire life.. and what is it supposed to say, “live life with no regrets.” The best part about it is that she doesn’t even care that the tattoo was misspelled, I guess she really is living up to the moral in which she claims to believe in.

I, on the other hand, view the world in a different light. You’ve got to live life with regrets! People do stupid stuff, people make mistakes, people screw up. To take another Latin phrase, “errare humanum est“.  Basically, I think life is a pathway to self-discovery, self-improvement. What’s the point in studying history or watching those sport tapes or checking over tests unless you want to rectify the mistakes you did in the past.

Now, you may be smart and say to me… well Prateek, that’s the point! By making mistakes, we can learn from them, and become a better person. And this makes sense. But really, if you call a girl a slut that you actually kind of liked in an effort to make yourself appear cool, and she becomes irreprehensibly angry at you… you’ll regret it! If you’re trying to call a cute girl in another room in a hotel, and end up calling a 45 year-old woman, disturbing her in her sleep, and she proceeds to call you a ‘filthy player’… you’ll regret it! And if you accidentally kick a baby… you’ll regret it. Okay, only the first two actually happened to me. Why is it always something to do with girls?

Anyhow, if you refuse to acknowledge the past as mistakes, as things that you regret, then you ultimately stand for and represent these actions, no matter how nasty or terrible they may be.  I’m sure those rehabilitated convicts regret their previous transgressions, and in fact the entire rehabilitation process is based on the foundation that they must acknowledge their mistakes and regret the person they once were.  Go to any AA meeting, and it’s the same story.

So in all, like all things in life, a celebrity’s little mishap speaks about her on a larger scale. That’s why we’ve got to love celebrities!  What I’ve learned, sometimes the hottest girls have the worst values and are the most hypocritical. Well, I guess it doesn’t take much to learn that.

Peace and love!